


Hate Me (sometimes)

by Spicyturnip4567



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Asshole! FP, Drug Abuse, F/M, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Original Male Characters(s) - Freeform, Underage Drinking, i get carried away, not a slow burn, the opposite of slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:26:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21857542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spicyturnip4567/pseuds/Spicyturnip4567
Summary: Alice knew her last year of high school was going to be awful. She just wasn't expecting this kind of awful.
Relationships: Alice Cooper/FP Jones II
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Hate Me (sometimes)

**Author's Note:**

> There are some minor references to the date rape drug, to underage drug use, and to men generally being creepy. No rape or sexual assault occurs in this story, however. Sorry if this triggers you, please be careful. 
> 
> Other than that, please enjoy! As usual no beta, so go easy on me x.

The first day of school after winter break was to be the pinnacle of Alice’s despair.

That was the initial thought that occurred to her, anyway, as she trudged through the cold, sleeting rain to her first class. In winter, everything was grey. The school walls, the books they read, the people, her clothes, the sky –

Not that the addition of color would have made any difference to her sour mood today. As small as she was, Alice felt the winter chill. Felt it in the way her lips burned from the bitter wind, and the ache of her feet as they refused to get warm, even with her thick combat boots for insulation. She’d walked from the trailer park to school, as she normally would have – it was just made worse by the cold weather. And now school, she thought dismally. She’d rather be home, in her mothers’ little trailer, sipping on the shitty hot cocoa brand her mum always bought. At least she wouldn’t have to be around people.

Although she was looking forward to seeing her friend again on a regular basis.

Her locker, strangely, was on the opposite side of school to her homeroom. She realized belatedly that if she had taken the longer way around, she could have stayed indoors, a little bit warmer and a little bit drier, and then at least her hair wouldn’t be wet and tangled. Finally reaching the corridor where her classroom was, she stopped for a second to run her hand through her hair, shaking away any excess moisture, before sighing and continuing on. Turning the corner and stepping through the classroom door, she was met with a wall of noise.

Forty kids crammed into one classroom sure took its toll on her eardrums, but it often kept attention away from her, and that was how she liked it. She noted regretfully that there were no seats left in the back row, so she sauntered over to the next best option and quickly staked her claim on the second row from the back, tucked into the corner. The teacher had not yet made an appearance, which explained the ruckus from the room.

Since her freshman year, Southside High School had become home to two charming factions; the serpents, and the ghoulies. Neither were savory – but, then again, she supposed, neither did she care. No one at was going to make it out to go to college, or to make anything of themselves. They were the riff raff, the rabble. The kids here learnt from the best of the criminal world – choose a side, or keep your head down and stay out of it.

She didn’t need to get close to either side to know they were both dangerous. As she sat, she let her eyes roam around the room, taking note that the right side of the room seemed to have been claimed by a tribe of kids – all emblazoned with black ghoulie bandanas around their necks, hanging from pockets, and some even tied around their heads. They didn’t even spare her a glance.

It wasn’t for another five minutes until she saw Harriet, one of her oldest friends. Harriet – or Harry, as Alice knew her – and Alice met at elementary school as kids. Just recently, Harry and her mom had moved into one of the empty trailers at Sunnyside after a nasty divorce with her father. It’d been ages since she’d seen her, as she wanted to give them both some privacy. But Harriet was one of her dearest friends, and it was no surprise when the girl plopped herself down on the desk next to Alice, scraping the chair loudly and popping her gum in her mouth with attitude.

“Look what the cat dragged in. Literally.” She drawled, eyeing the blonde up and down with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s a new look, bitch, go with it.” Alice snapped back. “Where’s my gum?” She held out her hand expectantly, and Harriet rolled her brown eyes, handing some over.

Harry was right, though, she did look a mess. In fact, she could only just start to feel the warmth seeping back into her nose, and she winced in annoyance. She popped the gum into her mouth.

“I got caught in the rain. What shit weather for the first day back.” Alice grumbled, turning her head to glare at the clouds through the window. The rain had slacked off, but the wind blew in heavy gusts, and the mere sight sent a shiver down her spine.

There was a commotion at the front of the classroom then, and both the girls looked up. Leather jackets tipped them off – so there were a few serpents in her home room, too. One boy had sandy brown hair, light blue eyes, like her, and pale skin. He looked skinny, like a typical teenage boy who couldn’t eat enough calories in a day to fill his hollow stomach. She didn’t know him. The second was a boy she had seen before, Jason, who had shaggy brown hair and kind brown eyes. The third, taller than the others, made her tense up in her seat, hoping Harriet wouldn’t cause a scene.

_F_ _P_.

Harriet immediately turned to Alice and waggled her eyes. “Same home room this term! Oh Ally, maybe you can stutter your way through a conversation with him this week!” She crowed, cackling like the bitch she was.

Alice reached over and gave Harry’s long brown hair a savage tug, effectively cutting off her laughter. “God, what the fuck, Al. He didn’t even hear me.” She whined, snatching her hair back petulantly. 

“I know,” Alice replied snottily. “That just made me feel better.” She glared, turning back to the front when Harry stuck out her tongue, tongue bar glinting obnoxiously.

FP had stopped, hand on the back of the blond kid’s neck as he whispered in his ear. The blond looked wary, as if only just now realizing the presence of ghoulies in the room. She saw Jason roll his shoulders, eyes never leaving the corner where the ghoulies now sat, staring right back.

It was all very overdramatic, in Alice’s opinion.

Either way, the teacher chose this inopportune moment to titter into the classroom, eyeglasses perched precariously on his crooked nose. Mr Fletcher, she recalled from last year. One of the teachers fresh out of college that truly believed he could change the lives of the student population of Southside. Pity, she thought. Southside was were do-gooders came to die.

_Not actually die_ , she corrected herself with a snort.

Bracing herself, she allowed her gaze to fall back to FP, drinking in his features. It was only Harry who knew of her feelings for FP. God, she sounded so fucking stupid. _Feelings,_ Jesus. She didn’t know why she felt that way, Lord knows every girl did at Southside. It was just – his eyes, she thought. Those eyes, when they looked at her, could strip her down to her soul.

Her and FP had grown up at Sunnyside together, but had both remained on the outskirts of each other’s respective social circles. They said hey in the hallways, and Alice would smile at FP when she saw him with regular frequency at the trailer parks laundromat – and they would talk like old friends behind closed doors. So when FP’s eyes scanned the room, with a cold, distant look to them she had never seen before, she felt her stomach twist uncomfortably. Then, when his eyes landed on her, instead of shooting her a smile like she thought he would, his gaze glanced off her form without so much as a hitch in his expression.

Alice felt as cold as the sleet tapping against the windows.

Even Harry shot her a look of confusion, and Alice was too startled to even glance her way.

_Why did he not even acknowledge me?_ Alice blinked, narrowing her gaze on FP, and saw the scowl etched onto his face as he turned away from her, plonking himself down into one of the chairs in the second row. The other boys perched lightly beside him, as if on edge, as if they were waiting for something from FP.

_Interesting._

“Attention everyone. Settle down.” Mr Fletcher attempted to settle the din, which made Alice’s eyes drift over to him. The noise quieted a little, but a few people continued to talk in their groups, making the teacher sigh. Alice tuned out of his pre-semester speech, though, knowing it would contain nothing she didn’t already know. Instead, she looked at her hands folded in front of her, frowning in confusion. She wondered if it was something she had done, but flitting through her recent run ins with the boy, she came up with nothing.

She felt an arm prod her side.

“What did you do to piss off FP?” Harry muttered, eyebrows raised.

Alice gave a shrug in response, not trusting herself to answer.

The class was all very normal after that, although Alice’s stomach was still twisted in that uncomfortable way. She should be offended, she mused lightly. Did he think himself above her since he’d joined the serpents? She considered this, thought bouncing in her head and gaining traction. He did seem to have a haughty set to his shoulders now, and that icy glare…

Whatever, Alice thought. She wasn’t going to concern herself any longer over him, even if that niggle in her stomach told her she was lying. She turned to Harry after the first bell rang, shoulders straightened with an air of confidence.

“I never asked you what classes you have.” She gestured to the crumpled slip of paper Harry had thrown onto her desk, and the brunette rolled her eyes.

“I have trig first up. You?” She replied, rolling the gum around in her mouth.

“I have chemistry. Damn it.” Alice flung her boot down from where it was perched on the windowsill.

“That means our whole timetable will be different.” Harry groaned, shucking her backpack onto one shoulder. “Well, I guess I’ll see you at lunch.” She grumbled, giving Alice one last eye roll – that girl was gonna strain something – and left with a swagger.

Alice sat for a moment more, before she followed suit. Her backpack flung across her shoulders, she stepped lightly to the front of the classroom, aware of the ghoulies still filtering out the door with the rest of the students. She passed the trio clad in leather, hesitating in her step for half a second, before she looked down, finding FP’s form and met his eyes, giving him a half smile in greeting.

She felt like she was doused in cold water when she was only met was a scowl on his face, dark glare filled with hate, and she felt it like knives on her skin. She felt heat burn on her cheeks, and she quickly turned to hasten her escape.

_Clearly the prick has something against me,_ she thought. _I just don’t know what._

Alice got lost in her thoughts as she wandered to her chemistry class, boots squeaking with leftover moisture. Seeing FP in person had ignited the little flame of want low in her belly, but the look on her face has left the rest of her feeling – well, a little subdued. She pulled the sleeves down on her bomber jacket, feeling a little unsure. Maybe he’d just become disinterested…but he didn’t have to look so hateful.

Mercifully, she was one of the first to the next class, and she promptly made her way to the back of the class, plopping down on the lab seat. She pulled a notebook that wasn’t already written in and a pen, throwing them in front of her and then folding her arms in front of her, resting her chin on her hands to watch who filtered into the room. A few faces she knew, a few she didn’t. Her eyes followed a ghoulie, a short boy with cropped brown hair and almost yellow eyes stalked into the room, not even sparing her a glance, but followed her tracks to the back row, on the other side of the room. He didn’t carry a backpack, or even a pen, and she fought the urge to roll her eyes. A few others followed, filling up the class from the front. Her eyes caught leather, and they flicked to the door where she found Jason had walked in.

He met her gaze, then looked down, frowning. She was just gearing up to letting out a growl of frustration when he looked up and met her gaze again, before sliding his eyes over to the ghoulie in the corner. Apparently having made up his mind, Jason strutted over to her, and sat down on the only seat available – between her and the ghoulie. She wondered what on _earth_ that had been about.

Still feeling slighted from earlier, she turned to Jason and offered him a tight-lipped smile.

“Hey, Jason.” She murmured, meeting his gaze. He offered her a similar smile, almost timid, and nodded at her, before turning to watch the front where the teacher had started to set up.

“Morning class.” The older lady cleared her throat. “I’m Mrs. King, please take a textbook for each table. Turn it to page 146, and read the passage before taking notes. There will be a group assignment on this chapter due at the end of next week – your neighbour will be your partner for this time. Any questions?” Her tone indicated questions would not be a wise option, and Alice spared a glance towards Jason, to find his seat empty.

He was at the book cupboard, grabbing one of the blue textbooks making their way around the classroom. Back at the table, he let it slam down next to Alice, and she sighed before opening it to the correct page.

“Guess you’re stuck with me, then.” She joked, wanting to start out this week with at least one new friend. Her frustration simmered below the surface, though, one scowl away from a snarky remark. Jason smirked, and nodded, before pulling the textbook towards him.

“So, covalent bonds then?” He let out a breath. “I think you may be carrying the team on this one, Alice.”

She shook her head. “Chemistry isn’t my strong suit.” She replied, squinting down at the small text.

“I thought you were smart?” He frowned, leaning forward as if mere proximity would help him understand the words. She frowned right back, confused.

“Where the fuck did you hear that?” She asked, taking her pen in hand and starting to jot down what she assumed was the important information.

Jason spared her a glance, still frowning, before shaking his head and grinning. “Doesn’t matter.”

Confused, she quickly dropped the subject as he followed her lead, taking notes in his chicken scratch handwriting. The rest of the lesson passed without fuss, and together they had a steady idea of where their essay was heading. Alice bid Jason a smile goodbye as she left the class, remembering she had English next. She wondered if she had any friends at all in this class.

The rain had stopped, leaving a small space in the clouds for the sun to seep through, and she felt it warm the skin of her face briefly before she was back inside, classroom just down the hall from her. Stepping inside, she saw three ghoulies had already taken up residence on the right side of the classroom. On the left, sat the tall boy who had been occupying her thoughts for the morning – FP had his shoulders hunched, head down, but as she strode over to him, he glanced up, eyes surprisingly open and vulnerable.

In the half second it took for him to recognise her, his expression became shrouded again, his jaw clenching and she saw him grind his teeth. She almost stopped, but at this point, her frustration had reached boiling point. Cheeks flushing in anger, she stopped at the desk in front of him, glaring down at him and hissed at him.

“What?” He narrowed his eyes even further, if possible, and sent her a condescending smirk.

She rolled her eyes at his lack of answer, turning haughtily and sitting down, effectively ending that interaction. _God,_ he was beautiful, but she could really punch him in his stupid, soulful, _perfect_ face right now. She unclenched her fists, realizing how tense she was after the exchange. God, why did she have to sit near him just to prove a point? Now she’d be distracted – and in her favourite subject, too. The first day really was turning out to be just awful.

English passed without any further drama, and when the bell rang, she booked it out of there, not even stopping to glance back at the asshole behind her.

Alice managed to hold out until lunch before unleashing her anger.

“Harry, I swear to god, I have no idea what I’ve done for that asshat to hate me?” Her rant turned questioning as she bit her lip in uncertainty, stomach swirling with annoyance.

Beside her, Harry snorted into her milk. The cafeteria was overcrowded, as usual, and Alice didn’t have to worry about being overheard as her words were lost to the commotion. Harry glanced up as a group of ghoulies walked past, the four of them silent and sneering as they sauntered through the line-up. The brunette stared for a moment, before turning to Alice with a considering expression.

“What if it’s a gang thing? Like, no talking to outsiders?” She wondered, puckering her lips. Alice shook her head.

“No, because I was talking to him before September. He joined in August.” Harry shrugged.

“I’m just saying, that’s my best bet. The dick better not start shit with you, though. I thought he was alright until now.”

Even though the comment was aggressive, Alice’s heart warmed at her friends’ protectiveness.

“One wrong look and its goodbye perfect nose.” Alice agreed, sighing deeply. Harry let out a loud burst of laughter, before nodding.

“Yeah, you’re puny, but you’d have a better right hook than most of the serpents, I’d bet.” Alice smiled and took an unladylike bite from her apple.

She’d most likely see FP in the trailer park this week, she thought suddenly. Maybe she could catch him for a confrontation there, save herself a suspension. Shaking her head, she let the silence hang between her and Harry for a while. When she finished her apple, she looked up. The ghoulies had now taken up residence on the furthest table, looking for all intents and purposes like a pack of dogs. She took her time in observing each boy…and found no similarities between them – bar one. Some short, some tall, blond, brunet, pale, dark. But all of them had the same skinny, gaunt face and hollow eyes, reminding her of that movie she had seen in history class.

_Like fucking holocaust victims,_ her mind supplied unhelpfully. She didn’t have to be a genius to know it had to be drugs, and by the looks of it, addictive, unnatural, dangerous drugs. She shivered, a little subdued, and Harry caught the motion, following her gaze. She made a noise of agreeance.

“Fucking scary, aren’t they?”

Alice didn’t reply - didn’t have to. They sat and watched for a few more minutes, before Harry sighed, stating she needed a smoke. Alice didn’t need to be told twice, and got up to follow her out the door.

She couldn’t wait for this year to be over.

\---

Walking down the hallway the next day, she found that her locker was actually not far from the blond boy from homeroom – and, much to her annoyance, FP’s as well. She felt a little more put together today, as her hair wasn’t a tangled mess and she’d thrown on some mascara before she left the house. The weather, thank fuck, had stayed sunny, but there was still an awful chill to the air, and so she ambled down the hallway in her signature bomber jacket and combat boots. She saw him as she walked, all 6 feet 2 inches of lean muscle and tanned skin, and her lower belly started to warm at the mere sight. He had a toothpick in his mouth, and she forced herself not to stare, lest she lose her mind completely.

She _knew_ he saw her, saw the way his shoulders tensed, but he didn’t even look her way to acknowledge her. The blond boy stopped what he was saying, though, to turn to glance at her sideways. God, I’ve had enough, she thought, and halted with a huff, turning to face both of them front on.

“Have I done something?” She snapped, and she felt her pulse quicken. For all her bravado, she actually detested conflict, and she was starting to regret her decision already.

The blond boy actually took a physical step back – and she wondered what the hell for, did she really look that imposing? She doubted it. FP, to his credit, barely flinched, but she saw the way his shoulders caved in and the tired sigh he let out. Eyes hard and dark, he stared down at her, an unreadable expression flitting across his face as opened his mouth to reply –

Before something caught his attention down the corridor, and his eyes flashed again, posture shifting, and in half a second he simply radiated aggression. Gaze returning to her, she felt his gaze burning holes into her face. He sneered down at her.

“Don’t be fucking stupid, Alice.” And she was so shocked by his reply that they managed to slip past her, heading down the corridor in long, angry strides.

She stood for another half second, before biting down on her lip to hold in a scream of frustration. Fighting the urge to kick his locker in as a general fuck you, she turned on her heel and stalked the opposite direction, before remembering she had actually been heading the other way.

Whirling around without so much as a warning, she rammed straight into another person, effectively knocking her backwards onto her ass.

Too shocked to say anything, she temporarily forgot why she was angry when she looked up to see a boy she remembered from English class the previous year. _His eyes look bluer than I remember them,_ she thought dimly as his hand shot out in front of her.

_Adrian?_ She tried, but she it didn’t seem to fit.

“Alice? Aiden, remember me?” The red head was smiling now. She blinked, before taking his hand and hoisting herself up, residual flush in her cheeks from anger and embarrassment.

“Yeah, yeah I do Aiden. Sorry about…” She gestured vaguely to herself, and he chuckled.

“No problem. How you been?” Did she imagine the way his gaze traveled up and down her body? Really taking a look at him now, she could see the parts of him that had changed with age. His freckles were now no more than a dusting across his nose, his pasty skin no longer pasty, and instead seemed like he’d actually stepped out into the sun. He’d gotten broader across the shoulders, too. He wasn’t her type, but she guessed she could see the appeal.

“Okay, I guess.” She answered noncommittally, eyes flicking behind him, down the hall, but FP was nowhere to be seen.

“Something wrong?” He frowned, turning to follow her gaze, but she coughed loudly and shook her head.

“No, sorry Aiden. Rough start. How are you?” She asked, trying to appear peppier than she felt.

He grinned cockily in the way she remembered, except it looked out of place now.

“I’m really good. Be better if I had you for English again.” He sighed, before considering. “What class do you have now?”

She took a moment to answer. “Gym. You?” He perked up.

“Oh, sweet! Me too. Walk with me?” She didn’t get any chance to answer before he grabbed her backpack off her shoulder and started walking. Shaking off the mild irritation, she padded along beside him.

“How were your holidays?” She asked, mostly for the sake of making conversation, and she hoped she didn’t sound too snappy.

She wanted Harry, so she could divulge her most recent run in with FP. Harry would help her make sense of it.

“They were awesome! We ended up having the whole fam over for Christmas…” Not wanting to seem rude, but not wanting to listen to his happy rendition of ‘happy family’ Christmas cheer, she tuned out, hoping her occasional smile would keep him occupied while she got lost in her thoughts.

_Don’t be stupid Alice._ What had that meant? He knew she wasn’t stupid. _Didn’t he?_ It was such a stark contrast to the FP she had grown to know – kind, sarcastic, and a little cocky – that she couldn’t even theorize as to why he was acting this way. The last time she’d spoken to him was two weeks before school had started, and she felt like it was the most natural thing in the world, having him smile at her lame ass jokes, and teasing her for her short stature or her mess of blonde curls. His whole demeanour seemed _off._

“Alice?” She jerked to a stop at the sound of her name. Outside the gym now, she shook her head, looking back up at Aiden.

“What?” She blurted, genuinely embarrassed at having been caught out, but to his credit, the redhead just grinned and shrugged her bag off his shoulder.

“I asked how your holidays went.” She had a half second flashback of lonely nights, cold pizza and cigarette smoke at the trailer park. Her mom worked odd shifts at the hospital, her dad…well, he was busy lying face down in a ditch somewhere, probably.

Instead of making all of these little home truths known, she plastered a smile on.

“It’s just me and my mom, but we had a really good day!” She said with what she hoped was convincing false enthusiasm. It sounded false, event to her own ears, but he nodded along anyway.

“Good to hear, Al.” She rolled her eyes internally. “Well, I’ll let you go get changed for gym. Wonder what we will be doing…”

Apparently not needing an answer to his question, he gave her another crooked grin and sauntered towards the showers. It wasn’t until he rounded the corner, out of sight, that she threw her head back in exasperation, and rolled her shoulders to release some of the tension.

“What did you do to get an admirer?” Harry chimed in from behind her, giving her a smirk as she passed her on the way to the showers. Alice choked out a laugh, following close behind.

“Fuck off, Harr-i-et.”

\---

By the time the final bell had rung, Alice was mentally clocked out. The walk home from school actually did her some good, the exercise warming her up and clearing her mind.

She was a little calmer by the time she rounded the corner to her trailer, unlocking the door with a soft click and stepping inside to an empty room. Her eyes found the note left on the kitchen bench, and she flung her bag down next to the door, and kicked off her boots as she reached for it.

_Hey honey. I’ll be at work until 11. There’s dinner in the fridge. Could you please do a load of laundry tonight? Love mom x._

Alice sighed. God, she was so alone.

It wasn’t until after dinner that she mustered the motivation to haul her ass to the laundromat on the other side of the park, basket of laundry on her hip. By the time she reached the building, her hip ached, and she reminded herself, not for the first time, to use a laundry bag next time.

Rounding the corner to the door, she smelled him before she saw him. The stink of cigarette smoke reached her nose, and she looked up to find FP’s tall figure leaning against the wall. He looked up, and for the first time all week he looked at her without aggression or hatred. This time, he seemed to be simply taking her in, dark eyes boring holes into her face, and she felt her cheeks turn pink without her permission. She was the first to speak.

“What the fuck, FP.” She meant for it to come out scathing, but she heard with her own ears how weary she sounded.

She waited a full second for him to reply before rapidly losing patience and sliding the door open, stepping inside. No longer caring about laundry, she angrily shoved her clothes into the machine, pulling out a couple of silver coins and pushing them into the slot, hearing them clank. The machine started up, rolling heavily, and she placed a scoop of detergent in, before turning and plopping herself down on one of the plastic chairs. She refused to look at him, even through the glass doors. Instead, she picked at her nails, fighting off the mixed feelings of frustration – both emotional and sexual, she realised to her chagrin.

Hearing the door open, she saw his boots at her feet. He must have realised she wasn’t going to look up at him because he knelt then, and she felt his finger at her chin, tilting her head up slightly. His fingers were warm and calloused, and the jolt she felt wasn’t just from anger. She met his eyes, the darkest brown she had ever seen, and couldn’t look away. She saw him swallow, before clearing his throat.

“I know. I’m sorry.” He rasped, before his finger left her chin and she instantly missed the contact. He straightened, and left without another word, leaving her heart in her throat. It took about five solid minutes for her brain to catch up on what just happened.

“What an asshole!” She raged at the empty room.

\----

Another couple of weeks went by much the same as the last. Alice spent her time avoiding contact with the entire male species – with FP it was was easy when he seemed determined upon ignoring her very existence as well. So – no worries on that front. Much to her horror, Aiden didn’t seem as easy to slip. He tagged along behind her, all smiles, reminding her of a faithful dog. Something didn’t seem quite right in the way he grinned at her, but she had too much on her mind to overanalyse.

Instead, she bid the ginger boy goodbye and hurried into chemistry, actually looking forward to the mellow company of Jason. She sat down in her usual spot, noticing the hairs on her arms standing up, and she had a half second to wonder why before she saw out of the corner of her eye –

The ghoulie with the dead amber eyes was sneering at her, and she did a double take. _What the fuck? Do I have ‘hate me’ written on my forehead?_

She was gearing up for a clever remark when Jason’s heavy footfalls broke the tense silence, and she looked up to find him glaring daggers right back at the ghoulie. The look on Jason’s face would have made her wither and crumble any day – but the boy just chuckled.

“Here to protect your girlfriend?” He said tauntingly, eyes making a show of looking her up and down. Jason actually growled – and whoa, she didn’t realise he’d be so defensive of her. She decided to speak up, because two against one was better odds in her eyes.

“Jealous, much?” She tried to copy his sneer, and by the amused look on his face she didn’t think she’d done very well – but the words seemed to shut him up as he smirked one last time before dropping their gaze and turning to face the front. Satisfied, she turned to Jason who was looking at her anxiously, eyes hard. She started to feel uneasy.

“What?” She whispered to him.

He shook his head and sat down beside her, running a hand through his hair. He let out a deep sigh and groaned lightly, as if regretting his actions already. She didn’t know what to make of this display.

“Sorry about him.” He murmured. “I didn’t realise he thought we were…”

She offered him what she hoped was a reassuring smile, before giving his arm a nudge.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Instead, she redirected his attention to the textbook, and their notes. It was time they started the essay today, as it was due Friday – not that she cared very much about grades, but a small part of her wanted to work hard to she could get a better job than the average joe. Not college, just something…better. Probably her hardworking mothers influence, she mused.

And so they settled into their easy routine, momentarily forgetting the altercation. She didn’t notice the ghoulie look at them for the rest of the lesson, but when the bell rang, she hopped up to place their textbook back in the cupboard. As it was, so did the ghoulie, and he neared her on the way back, he shoved against her shoulder as he brushed past.

She tensed, not knowing what the fuck was going on.

She hated that feeling. Having had fucking _enough,_ she all but threw the textbook back into the cupboard before whirling back around to grab her things, barely getting out a _see you later_ to Jason, who only nodded tensely anyway. She stomped down the hallway towards her English class – which was, she thought manically, the last thing she needed right now. In fact, she could use a day off, and besides – she was pretty much all over their chosen topic – _journalism and the media_ – so instead of taking a left hand turn to the right classroom, her feet took her right, down the hallway, out into the winter sunshine – she shivered briefly at the gentle breeze that had picked up that morning – and down the street, not stopping once.

“Fuck this,” she mumbled, kicking a loose stone onto the road. She walked all the way home, taking her a little less time than usual. The walk itself did nothing to clear her head though, and she stopped at the trailer only for a moment to throw her bag inside, keeping her phone in her back pocket.

She figured now would be the best time to let Harry know she’d ditched, and sent her a quick _went home, sorry_.

Harry replied within minutes.

_Slacker._ Followed closely with a

_everything ok? x_

Alice sighed, knowing it wasn’t something she could explain to the girl over text, so she punched out a _Yeah. I’ll come over tonight to chat. X_

Harry replied with an affirmative and with that Alice was on her way again. She just didn’t know where to go. She’d walked for about an hour, aimlessly around Southside when her phone vibrated in her pocket. It broke her out of her steady stream of _left, right, left, right,_ and she let out a put-upon sigh before checking who it was.

The name Harry flashed on the screen again, and she thumbed open the message.

_FP just asked me where you were ;)_

Alice’s first thought was _what,_ followed very closely by a flush of delight. After a few seconds, though, confusion set in with an intensity that made her mad all over again.

Why was FP asking about her when we clearly wanted nothing to do with her?

_What did you say?_

She waited in the one spot for about thirty seconds before starting up a slow wander in the general direction of Sunnyside. She knew these streets well, knew which ones to stay away from. She was near the school again, having backtracked while lost in her own thoughts. She hoped she wouldn’t run into anyone from school, because she really was not in the mood.

Phone buzzing in hand, she glanced at it.

_I just said you went home_

Pursing her lips, she briefly considered replying, but chose against it. She’d see Harry later on that day anyway. It was another twenty minutes before she arrived back at her trailer. She usually wasn’t one for dramatics, but she flung herself down on the old couch and threw a hand over her face. Her feet ached, and she kicked off her boots to relieve them.

The only thought she got through her head before she fell asleep was _I hate Mondays._

_\----_

Alice woke up later on groggy and dazed. She blinked wearily, trying to get her eyes to focus on the little digital clock on the microwave. It read 6:02pm – she must’ve really needed sleep. Hauling herself up and groaning as her head spun momentarily, she was vaguely aware she had agreed to meet Harry at her trailer. Noting that her mother still wasn’t home, she sighed at the empty kitchen as she squeezed her feet into her boots again.

The sun had gone down, so she knew it would be even colder outside, so she grabbed an extra thick jumper off the coat rack – she didn’t fancy feeling cold after her amazing nap. _Especially_ since she could now hear how the wind had picked up as it lashed at the trailer windows.

She only had to open the door about five inches to feel the icy wind hitting her in the face and she grimaced, pulling her coat even tighter around her. It was only a two-minute walk to her friends’ trailer, but with the wind whipping away every ounce of warmth she had left, it may as well have been an hour. She knocked on the familiar door, seeing the lights inside, and it didn’t take long for Harry’s mother to answer.

“Hey, Al, darl, come on in, crazy child. It’s fucking freezing out there.” Alice smiled politely and skipped inside, closing the door shut behind her.

Harry was seated on the couch, packet of barbecue flavored chips beside her, and Alice could see the tell-tale dusting on the tips of her fingers. Breathing in, she smelt the chicken soup that Harry’s mom had on the stove, simmering away, and her stomach growled hungrily at the sight. The older woman looked at her sideways.

“You hungry? You’re welcome to it. I’m going to shower to leave you two to talk about whatever shit it is you wanna talk about.” Alice snorted, but nodded her thanks, leaving the soup for now and stalking over to Harry to plop down beside her.

Harry glanced at her sideways, much in the same way her mother did, and silently held out the packet of chips. Alice grabbed one, crunching loudly.

“I had a run in with a ghoulie today. I got pissed so I just walked out. I’m getting real sick of being hated when all I wanted to do this year was fly under the radar.”

Harry nodded thoughtfully.

“Yeah, I know. If FP hated you though, why would he ask about you?” She questioned, and it momentarily threw Alice for a loop.

“I didn’t think about that.” She frowned, grabbing another chip from the packet. Beside her, Harry let out a long sigh.

“I know it’s been a rough first few weeks, but that girl Hannah is having a party at her dad’s house while he’s away with his new fiancé. We should go, cheer you up a bit.”

On the tv, the wheel of fortune spun around in a swirl of colours.

“What day?” Alice asked distractedly, mulling over her thoughts again.

“Friday night. I think your friend Jason is going. I have English with him, he’s nice.”

Harry shot her a look. “Shut up, I’m just saying.”

Alice giggled, but let the matter drop, and they both sat in a comfortable silence, letting the crappy game show rot their minds for the night.

\---

It was Thursday, and she was silently cussing out Harry’s very existence in her head. She’d gone and ditched Gym class, leaving her to fend for herself with fucking _Aiden._

It wasn’t as if Alice didn’t like the guy. He was genuine and nice, and always wanted to do things for her – not the worst thing that could happen to her, really. But he didn’t seem to grasp the concept of personal space, because he always seem to be _touching_ her in friendly – and sometimes more than friendly – ways. Like now, for instance. She wasn’t the best at volleyball, she’d be the first to admit, but she didn’t need someone touching her elbow to correct her fucking serve – it was gym class for fucks sake.

(Although she stopped complaining when her serves improved tenfold.)

“So, Alice, are you going to Hannah’s party tomorrow night?” Aiden asked lightly as his volleyball slam-dunk was met with a series of groans. He shot the other team an apologetic look.

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’ll be there with Harry.”

He looked happy with that. She was happy being silent after that, but another beat passed and Aiden spoke again.

“You, uh, do any Vitamin E at parties?” He grinned down at her, his tone betraying the confidence set of his shoulders.

Her mind went blank. “What?” She blurted, genuinely shocked – that is, if he meant what she thought he meant.

“E, you know.” He looked less confident now, but she didn’t sense that he was going to back down anytime soon. She was distantly aware of the coach blowing the whistle to signal half time, so she dropped her arms and blinked up at the redhead.

“As in the drug?” She asked him point blank.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, and if he noticed her discomfort he didn’t cotton on. “I’ve managed to score some, is all. Thought you might be interested.”

“No, not really.” She was astounded. She honestly thought she had Aiden pegged, and now…well, she was completely thrown for a loop. She’d grown up on the southside, she knew about drugs. She been around them, seen them, smelled them, seen people high, even gotten Harry through one night of hell – she remembers being fourteen years old, alone with just her in a strangers dark and mouldy bathroom, holding Harry’s hair as she vomited. She vowed then and there she would never touch the stuff. She’d _never_ been so scared and vulnerable since that night.

“Aw, fuck Alice. That’s fuckin’ lame, I thought for sure you’d be a party girl.” Aiden had the gall to grin like a looney while she tried to figure that sentence out.

“What the hell’s that mean?” She snapped, and his grin faded. He met her gaze, and he instantly went on the defensive.

“I’m just saying! You just have that look about you.” He realised what he said as he was saying it, she saw it in his eyes, but she was already halfway across the court before he even tried following her.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. You’re just – “

“Shut up.” she growled at him. He stopped following her then, apparently having given up. She stalked into the bathroom, giving the coach a half-hearted excuse about needing the toilet, and sat on the bench for the rest of the lesson.

_God,_ she was supposed to be making friends this year. She’d gone and done the polar opposite – the more she fucking tried, the more she pushed them away, whether she wanted to or not. She was, apparently, a horrible judge of character, and the more she thought about the casual way Aiden had insulted her, the sicker she felt. She hated this feeling, the uncomfortable twisting in her gut…why did people always assume they knew her, _really_ knew her, without actually getting to know her first? She was just dumb white trash – Aiden would have been better off just coming out and saying it.

And God, don’t even get her started on FP. She wished he’d just be consistent, but she’d seen the way he looked at her sometimes, when he thought she wasn’t looking. He never looked angry or hateful in those moments, no. He just looked sad.

Whatever that meant – she was too irate to analyse her situation with FP again. She just wanted to let herself stew in her anger for the rest of the day, and even Harry had given her a wide berth at lunchtime. Alice just needed the day to be fucking over.

\----

By the time Friday night had rolled around, Alice was completely over being insulted and ignored. She was ready to hang out with Harry and just soak in the last year of high school, lord knows she fucking deserved it.

Hell, she might even see Jason tonight. She had grown to like the guy, and she genuinely thought she’d made an ally with the serpent. She thought he felt the same way – she had seen how he’d started to relax around her, some of the tension seeping from his shoulders. That, and he had started to smile more. Hopefully I’ve made a decent friend this time, she thought as they marched down the dimly lit street, Harry’s cigarette smoke mingling with mist from her own breathing. The chilly air made her throat sting and the tips of her ears ache, but she knew it wouldn’t last long. The warm glow of alcohol would take care of it soon enough.

In saying that, though…

“Don’t let me get too drunk tonight.” Alice muttered through her teeth, knowing full well Harry would protect her to the ends of the earth if necessary – and vice versa.

Harry let out a startled laugh.

“Curiosity killed the cat, Ally.” She tutted playfully, already having rolled a joint back at the trailer. “It’s not like you to get hammered, anyway?” She questioned, raising a brow, “Is this about Aiden? Or FP?”

“Both,” Alice replied, blowing out a breath. “I’m fuckin’ lonely, Harry. That’s all.”

“Yeah.” Was all Harry supplied, though Alice was grateful. The girls knew each other well enough by now to know that false encouragement, no matter how well intentioned, felt worse than anything.

By the time they arrived at the party, it was in full swing, and when they entered the house Alice forgot about the cold. It was warm inside, probably with all the sweaty teenage boys dancing and fucking around – and the haze of smoke dulled her anxiety. The music, so loud it shook the walls, reverberated in her ears, and she grinned in excitement. Looking over the room, she spotted Jason next to the blond boy from school. She nudged Harry, and the two walked over and waved, getting the boy’s attention.

“Hey!” Alice yelled over the music. Jason, glassy eyed but still alert, gave her a small smile, and turned his gaze on Harry, before his smile widened. Alice stole a glance at her friends face, seeing her friends happy expression, she snorted, not caring about anyone hearing her. She turned to the blond instead, whose gaze was flitting nervously between them.

“I’m Alice.” She told him, having to lean in closer so he could hear her.

He nodded, before yelling back “I know.”

She blinked, before realizing that of course he would’ve known that, FP probably bitched about her every chance he got. She stared at him as he continued.

“I’m Sam, the newbie.” He gestured to his jacket, as if to clarify, but she already knew what he meant. _New to the serpents._

She nodded, before forcing a grin onto her face and asking Sam where he’d gotten his drink from. He smiled, holding up a finger before disappearing. A few seconds later he came back with two red cups, and she took the one he offered her, looking doubtfully at its contents. She saw Harry do the same.

Sam must’ve noticed because he laughed.

“It’s just rum and coke.” He leant in to shout in her ear, and she nodded, deciding that if Jason trusted him, she supposed she could too. He looked a lot younger than Jason, like he hadn’t quite hit his growth spurt yet, and it gave him an air of innocence. He was probably anything but, she mused.

Harry and she spent the night with the boys, and drink after drink Alice felt herself get pleasantly tipsy, movements becoming loose and relaxed. She had initially wondered where FP was, knowing that if the two boys were here, FP couldn’t be too far away. But the more time she spent here, the more she thought she had been wrong – maybe he _wasn’t_ around. She saw Harry mime needing a cigarette, and she nodded, watching the brunette walk outside with Sam. She turned around to ask Jason, to find out once and for all where FP was hiding tonight, and nearly knocked her drink out of her hand when she ran into someone’s chest. She looked up to find the last person she wanted to see.

Aiden grinned down at her, leaning in even as she leaned back.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” His lips touched her ear, and she wanted to shove him off her in revulsion, but instead clenched her jaw and put a hand on his chest, pushing him away slightly.

“I’m not in the mood, Aiden.” She choked out, not even sure if he had heard her. He was still grinning, so probably not.

“You look hot.” And wow, okay, she didn’t even know how he thought he could still fucking talk to her, let alone like that.

Alice took a big gulp of her drink to save herself from replying, and slammed the cup down on the table before sending a glare in Aiden’s direction. She ruffled her hair, frustrated, and was just about to turn around to try and find Harry again when a familiar voice hit her ears. She turned her head to locate the sound, the alcohol making her movements feel sluggish, when she saw Jason standing toe to toe with Aiden. Although Aiden was taller, Jason looked far more intimidating to her. She strained her ears to hear what he was yelling over the music.

“I _said,_ what the fuck did you just put in her drink?”

Her stomach swooped.

“What?” She rasped, but the thump of the music stole the word as soon as it left her lips.

She pushed her way closer, a horrible feeling creeping its way up her throat, threatening to suffocate her.

“Fuck off, asshole. She just needed something to relax.”

Aiden’s self-assured grin floated around in her vision, and she struggled to breathe, and she knew her skin would be flushing an unattractive shade of red with her oncoming state of panic. The music faded as the blood roared in her ears, and she rapidly tried to steady herself on her feet. She brought her hands to her face, trying to ground herself. In, out…In, out…

“Wrong fucking answer. I’m taking her home.” She felt a hand on her elbow and jolted, before she realised it was only Jason, and he frowned down at her as she struggled to get enough air into her lungs, so she didn’t fucking pass out right here and now.

“Like hell you are. I didn’t waste a pill on her just to have her go home.” There was a half second before Aiden was on the floor, blood spurting from his nose in horrible red streams, and she let out a cry of shock before she was being dragged – no, not actually dragged – guided outside the house, and the shock of cold air was enough for her to finally drag in a deep breath, lungs burning with effort. She felt woozy from the sudden temperature change, having been so warm before… She felt the panic start up again.

“Fuck, Jason, what do I do?” She leant against the wall, eyes burning with tears of shame and fear, but he was looking down at his phone.

“What are you doing?” She whispered, a little more quietly this time.

He looked up at her, anger still etched onto his face. She wondered if the gnawing feeling in her stomach was anxiety, or because she hadn’t eaten…

“I’m driving you home. Harry is on the way.” He waved his phone as if that explained it, and Alice wasn’t about to ponder how he even had her phone number – though she stored this bit of information for later, when she wasn’t panicking.

A half second later, and a positively fuming Harry rounded the corner.

“Fuck me, Alice, I go out for one damn cigarette and you manage to get into trouble. What the fuck did you do?” She growled, scowling at the blonde.

If Alice could have replied, she would’ve, but it was at that moment she felt someone start to spin the world on its axis. Really fast. She didn’t realize she was sliding down the wall until Jason caught her elbow, and her body stopped moving but the world kept spinning and _could the world just stop spinning for one moment please –_

“That red headed fuck put something in her drink.” Jason, bless him, took the liberty to explain.

He was nice. She thought that was funny how someone who looked so mean could be so nice.

“Oh.” She heard Harry say, and a few seconds later she felt another set of hands on her other elbow.

“Guys, I feel dizzy.” She heard herself say, but she didn’t feel her lips move. That was weird.

“I’ll drive you guys home, okay?”

Alice felt fuzzy all over. The horrible anxious twist in her gut was fading with every breath, but she felt hot again, and that was funny because it was cold, and she was hot, and that was weird.

They were in the car now, but she didn’t remember getting in? Jason was talking.

“I’ll help you take her to your place.” He was saying.

Whose place was he talking about? She was losing little moments of time.

“No. I’ve got it. Just leave it, okay?” Oh, that’s right, Harry was with her. Good old Harry.

“I love you Harry.” She mumbled, before giggling because she’d never said those words to Harry before.

First time for everything, she thought.

She heard a sigh. It was a man. Who was the man? Oh, Jason, he was here, too. She blinked.

Where was here? Where was she? She didn’t remember…

She let out another moan as a wave of dizziness washed over her again. Cold hands were prodding her, making her stand up, and she blinked open her eyes…

“Come on, Ally. One step, two steps, that’s good. We’re at Sunnyside now, we’re safe, okay? Let’s get you to my trailer.” The voice sounded funny, and she giggled.

An engine noise, then, fading… and then quiet. It was so _warm…_

She unzipped her jacket, and then tried to undo the first few buttons on her shirt before the hands stopped her. She tried to keep walking, and then looked down at her shoes… why did she wear those shoes?

“Alice, for fucks sake, move your ass, quickly!” Harry hissed at her, but her voice was muffled, like she was speaking through bubbles, and that was funny. She giggled…she giggled so hard her knees wobbled, and she fell down, face-planted into the cold ground…

“That’s better,” Alice said breathily, and then pulled her hands up in front of her face to examine them. They looked funny, like they were a really long way away from her, and she smiled and tried to touch her face. She couldn’t even feel them.

Where was she?

“What the fuck?” Another male’s voice broke through the fog of her mind, and she gasped, inhaling some of that awesome cold air. She’d know that voice anywhere.

“FP!” She laughed again. “What is an FP?” She wondered, mouth struggling to even form words now.

She felt warm hands on her face, but couldn’t see them, couldn’t see who they belonged to. They were rough, but she moaned because they felt nice, and they were gentle, not like the prodding she had received before…

“She got drugged, and she won’t move any further. I need to get her to my trailer.” Harry, Harry, Harry! Hooray! She giggled again. Everything was so _funny._

“Where am I?” She tried to get out, but she didn’t hear herself say it. Everything was muffled. Wouldn’t it be nice if she could sleep right now?

She drifted a little, to the left, and then to the right, before settling down in the darkness where it was nice and cool on her overheated body, and then she couldn’t open her eyes again. She heard voices, but couldn’t pinpoint what they were saying, but she focused on the one she liked the most, the smooth baritone one, and it lulled her to sleep. I like him, she thought. He has perfect hands…

\----

Alice, before she even opened her eyes, was aware that her entire head felt like it had been stuffed with cotton. That, and it _hurt._

Her brain felt like it had been through a meat grinder. She swallowed, throat dry, and opened her eyes only to face and onslaught of bright light that stabbed through her vision like a knife. Blinking a couple of time, Alice finally managed to open her eyes enough to take in her surroundings.

She knew what Harry’s bed sheets looked like, had since they were twelve. But the only thing she could think was _why am I in Harry’s bed?_ Heart rate rising, she lifted her head – grimaced at the patch of drool she’d left on the pillow – and ignored the spinning in her head as she took in the room.

She was alone, and so she sat up, scratching her head, and tried to remember why she was here. The last thing she remembered was walking to the party last night – surely, she hadn’t had _that_ much to drink? She didn’t feel nauseous like she would if she was hungover… _so why couldn’t she remember?_

She threw off the covers, not even noticing when the cold air hit the rest of her body. Padding out on unsteady feet to the kitchen, Alice saw the lump of brown hair sticking out from a pile of blankets on the couch, and not caring if she woke her friend up, walked over and shook Harry’s shoulder. The girl groaned, before opening her eyes, and she stared at Alice for half a second before sitting upright, blinking.

She was then on Alice, hands flying to her face.

“How are you feeling?” She slurred, voice heavy with sleep. Harry sighed in relief, having been satisfied that she was no longer warm and flushed.

“Like – “ she cleared her throat. “Like shit. What happened?” Alice pleaded, trying once again to remember something, anything, but drawing a blank each time.

“Sit down with me.” Harry sat back down, appearing exhausted, and patted the cushion beside her. Alice, despite herself, yawned and collapsed in a heap next to Harry. She shivered, pulling Harry’s blankets over her legs, before turning to Harry expectantly.

“Aiden put something in your drink last night.” Harry blurted, face unsure.

“What?” Alice barked, a vaguely familiar panic rising in her throat. She swallowed it down, blinking, and tried to ignore her racing heartbeat.

“I didn’t – I mean, you got me out, right?” She gasped, tears pricking her eyes and threatening to spill over. She didn’t _feel_ sore…

“No, no, oh my god, no. We made sure you got out, and Jason actually socked the guy in the face.” She snorted, before continuing.

“He got us here…at least out the front. I like the guy, but you know how I don’t like people knowing where I live. Not so soon after…” Alice nodded dumbly, knowing that Harry’s adjustment to living in a trailer park was a rough transition.

She sat there, trying to imagine it all unfolding. “That's okay. I don’t remember _any_ of last night.” She murmured.

“Fuck. I don’t know what he put in your drink , but I was hoping it was just roofies. From your memory loss, it sounds like I'm right” She wiped a tired hand over her face. “Another thing.” Harry grimaced, before continuing. “FP saw me trying to walk you to my trailer, and he…”

“What? He what?” Alice asked desperately, internally shrieking from shame and embarrassment of being caught in that state by the one guy she wanted to look good for. Harry smiled in sympathy.

“He kind of went ballistic.”

“What?” Alice shook herself; did she know no other word in the English language? “What do you mean he went ballistic?” Harry shrugged, eyeing Alice with caution.

“I mean, he came over, and I told him what happened, and he just got this look on his face and I don’t know, man, but I would call it _unstable…”_ She took a breath. “But, after a minute of arguing with the asshole, he switched. He just scooped you right up, even with the fucking ridiculous things you were saying.”

“What was I saying?” Alice bit her lip, worried she’d proclaimed her long-time crush to her long-time crush. Jesus, she was just _drugged,_ she needed her priorities sorted.

“You kept saying how nice his hands were. It was pretty weird.” Alice groaned, hitting herself with an open palm to the forehead, and instantly regretted the action when it made her headache flare up aggressively.

“Anyway, he carried you here, to my bed, and left in a big hurry. You know, I know you think he hates you and all, but if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he feels the complete opposite. I wish you’d seen it.”

Alice fell silent, needing a few minutes to take it all in. Now that she had answers, her mind was working overtime to figure everything out. She felt anxious, and looked toward the window, trying to figure out what time it was, trying to ground herself.

“It’s nearly eleven,” Harry supplied, checking her phone. “Did you…want to stay here for a while?” Harry’s voice was gentle, and it nearly brought Alice to tears.

She nodded, curling up even more under the comforter, and watched silently as Harry turned on the TV, settling in to watch the start of some crappy daytime movie.

About two hours passed, and they were both disturbed from their stupor when Harry’s phone buzzed. She yawned, before reaching for it, phone screen lighting up her face in the dark room.

“It’s FP,” She told Alice cautiously. “He’s coming over.”

“Fuck,” Alice leapt from the couch, flying to the single bathroom and took in her appearance in the small mirror.

She groaned out loud, reaching to turn the tap on to wash her face, and to wipe the mascara smudges from under her eyes. She looked terrible, eyes red and hair a rat’s nest on her head. Drying her face, she was overcome by the pounding in her head again and whined, grabbing a large glass of water for herself and Harry on the way back to the couch.

“I look like hell.” Alice told Harry, who didn’t exactly look fresh either, but Harry grinned.

“You did last night too. I don’t think he minds.” Harry downed her glass in one gulp, but Alice sipped hers, afraid that if she drank too much at once it would set off the roiling in her stomach again.

A moment passed, and there was a firm knock on the door. He gave them two seconds before he was inside, closing the door to keep the warmth in. She immediately gave him a once over, taking in his tall form, his jeans and boots, his white t-shirt and leather jacket, and she meekly met his gaze. His eyes bored into hers, and his expression took her aback. He looked almost wild.

“Alice,” FP breathed, eyes open and vulnerable for the first time in weeks. “Can I talk to you?” She nodded dumbly, keenly aware that her eyes were bloodshot, her hair was a curly mess, she still had yesterday’s mascara on, and she still felt achy from the tip of her head to the bottom of her feet.

“Sure,” she whispered, looking at Harry, who got the message pretty loud and clear if the eye roll she gave was any indication.

With one meaningful glance at Alice, she shrugged on her coat, grabbed a packet of cigarettes and was out the front door. Alice watched her go, too chicken shit to meet FP’s warm gaze.

It wasn’t until he sat down beside her on the couch that she peeked at him, and instantly regretted it. Looking at him now, concern etched into his beautiful features made her remember all the reasons why she had liked him in the first place – and she really didn’t need to undo all her hard work in forgetting him. He’d left his leather jacket hanging over a chair in the kitchen, she realized, and she wordlessly offered him a section of her blanket. His eyes crinkled as he grinned, and she blushed, tucking her arm back under the covers. A second later and he’d begun to talk.

“How are you feeling?” His voice was soft like this, softer than she’d ever heard him speak, and she closed her eyes, savoring it.

“I’ve been better. But I guess it could’ve been worse.” She muttered, voicing for the first time the seriousness of what happened.

She quickly tamped down the feeling of revulsion – she knew she wouldn’t cope well if she didn’t. She hedged a glance at FP, whose eyes were black, and jaw clenched, and…

_Unstable,_ she remembered, Harry’s voice running through her head. The description was accurate. It made her stomach swoop with anxiety, and she blundered on, hoping to backtrack a little.

“I guess I owe Jason one. I didn’t even know Aiden had put something in my drink.”

She tensed, sensing a similar tension in FP’s frame, saw the way his hands clenched, and let out a small noise, trying to calm him down, before she brought a hand out from under the covers and let it rest on his arm. He brought his hands up to his face, letting out a little growl, before she saw him try to relax, and he let a big breath out through clenched teeth.

“Sorry,” she whispered, and even she heard the anxiety in her voice. _My hard-ass reputation will be ruined if this gets out._

He turned, eyebrows raised in incredulity, and she saw his features soften again. She realized her hand was still on his arm, and she squeezed, as if she could convey all her emotions through touch alone.

“God, Alice, I’m not angry at you. It’s – what did you say his name was again?”

“Aiden.” She cleared her throat.

“He’s a dead man.” FP ground out, eyes still hard, but she drank them in anyway, wanted to drown in the color.

“Jason already gave him a touch up.” She murmured, remembering Harry’s words from earlier.

“The first of many.” FP’s tone suggested he was joking, but his eyes were deadly serious.

She gulped, thoughts swirling around in her head about what could have happened…

“What if …what if he hadn’t been there.” She choked, hands coming up to rub at her eyes, trying to force the tears back inside her head. God, she was a tired, emotional wreck today and here she was falling apart in front of goddamn FP. She blinked, clearing her throat, and ran a shaky hand through her hair, trying to calm herself.

“Don’t think about it, Alice.” FP hesitated, but only for a second, before he lifted a hand and placed it on her cheek, thumb swiping under her eyes, and she got lost in the strange sensation of rough and gentle, and she felt heat run from where he was touching her, all the way down to her abdomen, and she felt that familiar pulse of arousal, making her head spin for a completely different reason. FP kept his hand there a beat longer, eyes lingering on her face with an unreadable expression, before he dropped it, clearing his throat loudly.

“Anyway, I uh, wanted to come over here because I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

She blinked, before her brain caught up with her.

“You think?” She tried, but it came out as a sniffle. After last night she just didn’t have the energy to be confused or angry anymore. She was just exhausted.

He winced, shoulders slumping, and closed his eyes. “I’ve been a massive dick, and I’m sorry. Would you believe me if I said it was in your best interests?”

She stared at him, at the profile of his face, and the five o’clock shadow that covered the lower part of his face.

“What do you mean?” She asked, not even blinking once. He opened his eyes again, stared at the tv, like he couldn’t meet her gaze.

“The ghoulies have been giving us trouble – drug dealing, and - yeah.” He winced, not elaborating, before barrelling on. “We tried to stop them, but they ended up throwing a few threats around, and – well, some were followed through.” He paused. “They thought, since you were my friend – “ He stopped again, and she cleared her throat, willing him to continue. “There was a threat against you. So I pretended like we weren’t – but then you got into trouble anyway, so a big help I was –“

She interrupted him with a hand on his, feeling heady and emotional with the rush of understanding, and the emotional exhaustion of today.

“Hey, it’s okay. I guess Harry was right, it was a gang thing.” He didn’t reply, just stared at her hand on his, an unreadable expression flitting across his face, before he grunted and pulled away. She sighed.

_I would’ve pulled away too, I probably look a fright at the moment._ She pulled her hand back to herself, looking down.

“It’s okay. I understand.” And she truly did.

When she looked up at FP again, her breath caught. He had a relieved little half smile plastered on his face, dark brown eyes heating her core, and sending a jolt of arousal through her. _How the hell does he do that?_

He cleared his throat.

“I promise, though, that I won’t let them hurt you. Okay?”

She looked at him with wide eyes, and opened her mouth to reply. At that exact moment, though, the front door had opened, and a pale looking Harry stuck her head in.

“Are you guys done? It’s fucking freezing out there.” And when Alice looked closely, she could see the top of Harry’s nose has turned red with the cold.

She looked at FP, who mumbled an apology and Harry shuffled over, throwing herself under the covers on the couch, making FP laugh despite himself.

The three of them sat awkwardly for five seconds, before Harry chuckled, and shoved FP’s shoulder.

“Don’t be weird about it. You can stay for a bit.” And it wasn’t weird or awkward after that.

The three of them sat, warm under the pile of blankets, eyes glued to the tv as a new movie title flashed across the screen. It was nearly an hour later before Harry’s mom came home, rolling her eyes fondly at the three of them huddled together, and for a moment, Alice could pretend he belonged there.

\----

The following Monday, Alice still had a faint headache, but her body aches had rescinded, leaving her feeling okay for school. She’d seen FP in home room, and her heart warmed when, instead of glaring at her, he gave her a genuine smile. She blushed, and shot one right back, before nodding to Jason and Sam – they both gave her knowing grins.

In English, he turned around and said hello, and they chatted about nothing and everything for the few minutes before class. _She had fucking missed this,_ she realized, and felt like she was practically glowing when she walked into the cafeteria, spotting Harry sitting at their table, before halting.

There was Harry, but there was also Jason, and Sam, and FP, all sitting together like it was the most natural thing in the world. Sam spotted her first, and waved her over like an excited puppy. She greeted them collectively, sitting down with her trademark apple, and bit into it to avoid conversation. She was feeling too sappy, and felt like the grinch whose heart grew three sizes – she’d like to keep her hard-ass reputation, thank you very much. FP smirked at her good naturedly, and Harry’s eyes flitted between them both, grinning like a looney.

Alice ignored her.

When the bell rang, Sam and FP were the first to leave, having a class on the other side of their massive campus. Harry bid goodbye to her and Jason, needing a cigarette before gym class. Alice, for once, could relate, as she stared at Jason, who was smirking at her in a way that irritated her to no end. She glared at him half-heartedly.

“Everything good between you and FP now?” He asked, sly grin stretched over his features.

“I guess. I genuinely thought he hated me.” She gave him a shrewd look, watching the way his face sobered up.

“You know,” he told her. “It really ripped him up to have to act that way. That kinda tells me something.” He searched her face meaningfully, as if trying to convey something of significance.

She paused, before her thoughts screeched to a halt.

_“Oh.”_

She ignored Jason’s raucous laughter for the rest of the day.

\---

Alice, much to her credit, was not freaking out. She’d had the biggest epiphany, thanks to Jason, and had spent the rest of the day trying to contain her roller coaster of emotions.

So when she’d approached FP that afternoon after the final bell, her heart was in her throat. She had smiled, she had touched his arm, and noticed the way he looked down at it, frowning. She had told him she needed to talk to him, and had asked if he could meet her at her trailer tonight. He’d nodded, swallowing, an unsure look passing across his face.

She’d never seen that look on him, and she knew then that she was right about this.

She walked all the way home, opting not to take the bus again. When she got home, Alice checked her mom’s note on the fridge – she was working until eleven pm – and so she dragged herself to the shower, wanting to freshen up. Hair washed and a tiny amount of makeup applied, she sat herself down on the couch, not wanting to eat dinner, as her stomach was swirling with excited nervousness.

It was about 6 o’clock that she finally heard a knock on her door. She jumped up, forced herself to wait ten seconds, to calm her racing heart, before she leapt over to the door and threw it open, gesturing for FP to come inside.

He looked nervous, eyes warming when they saw her, but he glanced around, hand rubbing the back of his neck, looking as if he didn’t know why he was there. He cleared his throat.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” He asked, voice rough. He stared at her as she stepped closer.

“I actually just wanted to test something.” Was all the warning she gave before she reached up and wrapped her hands around his neck, bringing him down to her and slanting her lips across his in a heated kiss.

He froze, eyes wide, but she gasped and carded her fingers through his hair desperately, body thrumming with arousal. She felt him tense, and, suddenly anxious, she went to pull away, face flaming.

When she did, his eyes were wide, and serious, and dark, and – seeing his face just made it worse for her, and she bit her lip, worried she’d gone and ruined everything. But then his hands reached up to either side of her neck, caressing the skin there, ever so gently and she took a shuddering breath in. He had to lean down again, lips pausing over hers for just a moment before he crashed his lips to hers once more, stepping into her, his chest flush with her own.

This kiss was faster, desperate and frantic, and she gasped and whined, trying to keep up. He groaned, long and loud in response, and the noise sent heat straight to her core.

His hands moved, everywhere at once and it was still not enough. She felt them sit at her hips, and he held her to him as his mouth worked over hers, before they pulled away. She blinked her eyes open, only to find his lips were making their way across her chin and down her neck, and she clawed at his chest when his lips found a spot below her right ear, making her whole body flush with a heat she had not felt before.

“FP, FP, please, can we – bed?” She got out between breaths, and she felt his whole body shudder, before tensing, as if registering the significance of her words.

He pulled back, and he was so tall she had to crane her neck back to see his face. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated, and his breath was coming in uneven pants. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know what she looked like – she probably looked wrecked. She took in his appearance properly, then, and saw the way the skin on his cheeks was flushed with desire, took in his tousled hair and heavily lidded gaze, and the only word she could use to describe him then was wild.

“Alice,” he breathed, and he swallowed. “I don’t know if – I mean, are you sure?” His face was serious, but his eyes betrayed his nervousness and she smiled right back, hoping to convey just how sure she was. She reached up and placed a hot kiss on the corner of his jaw.

“Please.” She begged, and his reaction was almost instantaneous. He reached down and hoisted her up over his hips, and she reacted in kind, widening her legs around him and pressing herself even closer, head buried in the join of his neck, and she placed an open mouthed kiss to his skin, feeling the heat and tasting him for the first time.

She growled, her hands moving from his shoulders to his hair as he moved, kicking open the door to her room – _good guess_ – she thought distantly as he pulled back her head, fingers gripping her hair with a gentleness she didn’t think he possessed. She was wild with arousal by now, as he placed her back down on her feet. He went to kiss her again, but she pulled away, and he stopped short, hesitating for half a second before she reached for the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head.

She didn’t waste any time in trying to get his shirt off, and he happily obliged, and when she threw it to the other side of the room he was on her again, lips prying her own open, tongue sliding over her lips before he nipped her bottom lip, making her writhe. His hands were gripping her waist and sliding down her back and flattening across her stomach and –

She gasped, breaking off the kiss, it was all too much and she needed release. “FP, please, please…”

He groaned again, as if this was too much for him as well, but she knew the only thing she wanted right now was _him…_

His hands slid lower, sliding down her sweatpants and panties in one smooth motion, and they dropped to the floor, leaving her almost naked in front of him. He slid his hands up her back again, callouses leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. He worked on her bra for a few seconds, managing to untangle it even as his lips worked over her neck again, leaving her shaking.

She had never felt so exposed and aware in her life, but fuck if it wasn’t the best feeling…

Her bra fell to the floor, and he took a step back then, eyes heated as they drank her in. Her first instinct was to reach up and cover herself with her arms. He met her eyes then and reached up to stop her.

“Please,” he whispered, almost inaudibly. “Let me.”

She dropped her arms and his fingers trailed from her shoulders, down her chest, gentling grazing across her peaked nipples, and her breath hitched. He ran a thumb over them, once, twice, before continuing down, over her stomach, over her hips, and he let out a breath, trying to pull her close to him again.

She resisted, though, eyes on the hard length in his jeans. Eyes bright, she looked up at him, teasing lilt to her mouth.

“Let me, please.”

He gulped, letting his hands drop. She reached for the button of his jeans, taking a second to pop it before her hands gently guided the zip down, fingers grazing him as she did so. She recognized the tension is FP’s shoulders for what it was, now – he was fighting to keep himself still.

She dropped to her knees, and he gasped, hands flying to her face, knuckles brushing over her cheek. She looked up at him, and saw the way his chest heaved.

“Alice…” He murmured, eyes never leaving her face. She licked her lips, watching him watch her, before she reached up, pulled down his boxers, and took him in her mouth.

He jolted, and one hand curled in her hair and clenched, before he released it suddenly, as if remembering to be gentle.

She worked her tongue over his tip, reveling at this new sensation. She’d never done this before, with anyone, and got lost in the movements, losing herself to his growls and groans and shudders. It wasn’t very long before he reached down and pulled her up by her shoulders, wasting no time in latching his lips to her own again.

_She would never get used to this,_ she thought, and felt her arousal coating her thighs. God, she was wetter than she’d even been in her life, and she never even –

He broke the kiss first, leaving her breathless. She gave him a grin.

“I had always wanted to try that.” She told him, running her hands through his hair again. She had to reach up on her toes to do it, and she cursed her short stature.

FP grabbed her arms.

“Wait, wait Alice. You’ve never done that? Wait –” he shook his head. “Have you done – anything before?” His eyes were boring holes in her own. She bit her lip, frowning.

“No. Does it matter?”

FP tensed again, and she saw his jaw clench, then unclench, as he forced himself to relax. His eyes squeezed shut as he pulled her in, holding her body against his own. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“It shouldn’t matter. But it matters to me, because I – you deserve more, Alice.” He let out a self-deprecating chuckle against her hair, and she pulled back, frowning up at him.

“I don’t want anyone else. Just you.” She managed through the haze of arousal that his words produced.

“Now please, I need you, _please.”_ She whined, hands reaching down to grip him in her hand, giving him a few strokes for good measure. She felt the last of his hesitation leave him, and his eyes clouded over again. He backed her into the bed, never breaking her gaze, and she fell backwards, head hitting the pillows as he followed her, crawling up her body. God, she wanted him touching every inch of her, and she looked down to where their bodies should be joined, core throbbing with the thought of him inside her. She writhed underneath him when she felt his fingers trail down her stomach, leaving a trail of lava behind them. He finally, finally, slid his fingers over her clit, thumbing it for a moment and leaving her gasping, before going even lower, like he couldn’t wait any longer…

He groaned just as loudly as she did when his fingers slid over her wet center. He slowly, gently, slid one finger in, and she spread her legs wider in a knee jerk reaction. He worked another finger in, sliding in and out and in again until she was a fucking whimpering mess…

“Please, FP, I don’t wanna wait anymore _please_ just –“

“Shh, okay, okay.” He interrupted her, and she didn’t miss the way his hands shook as he brought one up to her face. His other hand guided himself to her, and she shuddered when she felt his length against her. She looked up at him, only to find him watching her face with an intensity she hadn’t seen before.

Achingly slowly, he slid himself into her, and she felt a blunt pain, causing her to yelp. He stopped, worried, but she gripped his shoulders and whispered _please…_

He clenched his jaw and seated himself fully inside her, and she felt herself stretch around him, and it would have been painful had she not been so fucking _wet_ for him. FP gasped, then groaned, the hand on her face sliding down to her neck, and holding her there.

A moment passed where the only sound was their heavy breathing.

Then, FP withdrew, then thrust himself back in agonizingly gently. She gasped at the delicious friction, but needed more from him in that moment. She needed raw, hard and heavy, and one word made FP give up all his reservations.

“Harder,” she whispered wildly in his ear, and he lost himself then, steadily sliding in and out without abandon, and she knew she wouldn’t last long with this pace – god, he felt good, and she reached up to grip his hair, trying to pull him down for a kiss.

He obliged, kissing her fiercely, and she poured all of her emotions into it as she felt herself sliding down a precipice, feeling a white-hot heat shoot through her –

She gasped brokenly, clutching him for dear life, and he groaned into her mouth as he felt her walls squeeze him. She could do nothing but ride out the waves of pleasure as she came, and she felt his hips stutter once, twice, before he was snapping his own hips into hers roughly, hands gripping her desperately. She couldn’t care less, she thought, as her world was spinning from the come down.

She didn’t want him to leave her, but he slid himself out and she moaned, overly sensitive now. He rolled off her, chest heaving again, and tried to catch his breath. She rolled over to face him, not willing to let him go just yet. He gazed at her, as if drinking her in, and his eyes grew lidded again at the expression on her face.

“I should have said this before, but – you really are beautiful.” He told her, cheeks ablaze. She gave him a dopey smile, and fucking hell she couldn’t stop staring at him. Sex, apparently, made her stupid as all hell. He grinned at her, before leaning over and giving her a chaste kiss.

“Should’ve known you’d be useless.” He joked, face bright with contentment. She shrugged, and grinned again, before resting her head on his shoulder, feeling the way his chest rose and fell with his breathing.

“Mom comes home at eleven. Are you gonna stay?” she asked nervously, biting her lip.

He shifted underneath her, and she felt a finger under her chin again. Her eyes met his, and she saw such an intensity of emotions reflected in them that it made her smile.

“I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.”

\-----


End file.
